I don't know what it is about this summer, but it has been so hard on almost everyone I know. The list of people I'm praying for gets longer by the day. It breaks my heart to see everyone's sunny expectations of the first summer back from college being covered in rain. It's been a summer of change to say the least. I don't think it's gone how any of us expected, or hoped, that it would.
The rain for myself and the people around me has come in so many forms. Most have come in the form of breakups with guys, some in loss of jobs, some in confliction of family, some in loss of self. It's hard to be okay with living a life that we didn't plan out for ourselves. It's hard when we get to that point where we always thought we'd have it all together, and now that we're here realize nothing is as we thought. The part of my life that's been so different than expected this summer (among many parts...) is how I feel about my future. I've known almost exactly what I've wanted to do with my life since I was sixteen. Now nothing is certain. The Lord is pulling me in directions I never wanted or expected to be pulled, and it confuses me and sometimes sends me backwards.
I'm not sure what it is for you. What it is that isn't going as you want it to, what it is that is keeping you at a distance from being able to say you're at peace with where you are, what part of you is left still wanting answers. But we are never promised answers. We are promised peace. We are never promised that the trials God has set in our paths won't leave us in peaces, we are promised that He will put them back together in a way He has perfectly designed. Nothing we dream of our lives could measure to what he's dreamed for us. Think about your life if you had gotten everything you had ever wanted...
After witnessing lost jobs, divorce, eating disorders, breakups, different college plans, and different life plans all I know is that everything is temporary and nothing is certain. We are not guaranteed anything. We are not guaranteed we'll be comfortable, safe, secure, financially stable, relationally stable, healthy, or whole by the world's standards. The only thing we are guaranteed, the only thing we are promised is this.
We have something better waiting for us. Not just in the next life, but in THIS life. Because anything we are promised from Christ is better than what's promised from this world. I praise God now looking back for not giving me everything I'd ever asked for! If He had given me everything, I would be at the wrong college for me, I would be with the wrong guy, I would be proud (more than I already am), I would be completely and utterly unfulfilled. And those are just the few I could come up with off the top of my head. Our lives aren't going to go as we planned, we are not going to enjoy every season and situation we are in. But in every trial thrown at us, God is standing behind us begging us to fall into him, trying to remind us that we were never intended to go through this alone. He is the beauty in every thunderstorm we endure. He is the peace that we notice only when we take the time to get past the fact that the rain is making life difficult for us. We are hardened and struck down by every failed expectation, by every hardship we endure. But the great thing about trusting in Christ is that this is not where it ends. A life lived according to his purpose will never leave us wanting more, will never leave us as broken as we were without Him. And just because our life doesn't go according to our plan, or we can't find His purpose in our trial should not give us reason to believe that peace through all these times cannot be obtained through Him. He is the beauty in all of our summer showers! And I am so thankful He has promised to bring me through every trial and has not given me everything that I have wanted.